do people really think there’s this sudden influx of gay/lesbian/bisexual/trans* people because it’s “hip” and “cool” now or some shit you realize that there are just as many gay/lesbian/bisexual/trans* people as there were in any point in history it’s just throughout most of history you didn’t hear about any of them because it was REALLY FUCKING UNSAFE TO BE ANY OF THOSE THINGS.
Anyone who has ever struggled with poverty knows how extremely expensive it is to be poor.
Make him feel like a piece of meat: “It’s a huge turn-on to hear a woman objectify me,” 30-year-old Christopher says. “It seems simple, but it’s so powerful.” Take his words to heart and don’t be afraid to tell your guy everything you like about his body or what he does that drives you crazy. He’ll be obsessed.
That’s not what objectification means. That’s not making him feel like a piece of meat. That’s just sexual compliments. Yeah, sure, it’s easy to say “I don’t know what those ladies are complaining about, you can objectify me anytime” if you think it means your girlfriend tells you you have sexy abs.
Objectification is focusing on a person’s usefulness to you with total disregard for their desires. In the context of compliments, it’s not saying “You turn me on.” It’s saying “You turn me on, and whether you want to turn me on is utterly irrelevant.”
Saying “nice ass” to a person who’s deliberately wiggling their ass at you is a compliment; saying “nice ass” to a person who’s just walking by is objectification. “I want to sleep with her” is expressing desire; “I’d hit it” is objectification. “You’re sexy” is nice to say on a date because it’s a compliment; “you’re sexy” is hideously undermining to say at a business meeting because it’s objectification.
Old, white, powerful men know what rape is, much better, it seems, than rape victims. They are lining up to inform us that women – the discussion has centered around women and their lies even though 9 per cent of rape victims are men – do not need “to be asked prior to each insertion”. Thanks for that, George [Galloway], not that it’s just you.
As a culture, we still refuse collectively to accept that most rapes are committed by ordinary men, men who have friends and families, men who may even have done great or admirable things with their lives. We refuse to accept that nice guys rape, and they do it often. Part of the reason we haven’t accepted it is that it’s a painful thing to contemplate – far easier to keep on believing that only evil men rape, only violent, psychotic men lurking in alleyways with pantomime-villain mustaches and knives, than to consider that rape might be something that ordinary men do. Men who might be our friends or colleagues or people we look up to. We don’t want that to be the case. Hell, I don’t want that to be the case. So, we all pretend it isn’t. Justice, see?
Actually, rape is very common. Ninety thousand people reported rape in the United States in 2008 alone, and it is estimated that over half of rape victims never go to the police, making the true figure close to 200,000. Between 10 and 20 per cent of women have experienced rape or sexual assault. It’s so common that – sorry if this hurts to hear – there’s a good chance you know somebody who might have raped someone else. And there’s more than a small chance he doesn’t even think he did anything wrong, that he believes that what he did wasn’t rape, couldn’t be rape, because, after all, he’s not a bad guy.
8 Reasons Young Americans Don’t Fight Back: How the US Crushed Youth Resistance
- Student-Loan Debt.
- Psychopathologizing and Medicating Noncompliance.
- Schools That Educate for Compliance and Not for Democracy.
- “No Child Left Behind” and “Race to the Top.”
- Shaming Young People Who Take Education—But Not Their Schooling—Seriously.
- The Normalization of Surveillance.
- Fundamentalist Religion and Fundamentalist Consumerism.
An even bigger issue is that if people think social justice is about niceness, it means they have fundamentally misunderstood privilege. Privilege does not mean you live in a world where people are nice to you and never insult you. It means you live in a world in which you, and people like you, are given systematic advantages over other people. Being marginalised does not mean people are always nasty to you, it means you live in a world in which many aspects of the cultural, social and economic systems are stacked against people like you. Some very privileged people have had awful experiences in life, but it does not erase their privilege.
Neurotypical privilege is being viewed as a person with personality traits rather than a statistic with symptoms.
There’s a chance I’m oversensitive. There always is.
But. I have a bone to pick.
When an autistic person posts an article about how scientists discovered that autistic people are less able to listen/pay attention when eye contact is forced, it is kind of a not good thing to barge in and say “I’m not comfortable with eye contact either and I have a hard time listening too” (this person self identifies as allistic).
Tell me. Have you had eye contact be a goal of your therapy? Have you had teachers, parents, therapists take your face and physically force you to make eye contact, or have you been yelled at consistently for not making eye contact, starting at a very young age?
Power dynamics exist. When allistics say things like “oh I do that, too”, it minimizes the years of abuse that some of us have been through, years of a quest to make us normal.
Yeahhh, I’m getting really sick of talking about stuff regarding autism and having allistic people respond with, “(BUT) I DO THAT TOO!!”