Many abused children cling to the hope that growing up will bring escape and freedom. But the personality formed in an environment of coercive control is not well adapted to adult life. The survivor is left with fundamental problems in basic trust, autonomy, and initiative. She approaches the tasks of early adulthood—establishing independence and intimacy—burdened by major impairments in self-care, in cognition and memory, in identity, and in the capacity to form stable relationships. She is still a prisoner of her childhood; attempting to create a new life, she reencounters the trauma.
Judith Herman (via ceeainthereforthat)
YES. 41 years and still dealing with the shit.
I will add to this, however, that the good news is that everything learned from abuse can be unlearned. The brain is amazingly flexible and with time and effort, true deep healing can be had. If I am learning anything from therapy grad school, it is that people can and will heal from phenomenal amounts of trauma.